Transparency: Behind the Scenes of a Good Life by Lisa Salazar

Transparently: Behind the Scenes of a Good Life—by Lisa Salazar

Preface

Shortly after Christmas 2009, I began a correspondence with a friend who, in the course of a few emails, had asked me many probing questions. After several long email responses I said that, thanks to her questioning, I perhaps had a good start to a book. She said the more I answered her questions the more she wanted to know, and she encouraged me to keep going. It was now the end of February and, though I initially balked at the idea of writing a book about my life, there had been something therapeutic going on as I recounted my stories. As I continued writing throughout the month of March, I laughed and cried to myself more than I ever had. I was surprised at how it all came together so quickly, especially since I had never written anything longer than a term paper—and that was way back in my college days.

As I have thought about an appropriate title for this book, I considered all kinds of possibilities, but I also questioned my motivation for telling my story and whether anyone would bother reading it. What could I add that has not already been said by others; and what, if any thing, would be the differentiating quality of the book?

I didn’t want to add yet another title to the growing number of books about the lives of transgender people. Least of all, I didn’t want anybody reading this book expecting it to be a herald for “the cause.” Additionally, I felt it needed to be stated right from the beginning that my life has not been a tragedy, and that I do not deserve or want pity or admiration. I can think of a hundred worse things than being transgender, and my “suffering”—if you want to call it that—pales by comparison to what others have to endure from the day they are born until the day they die.

Consequently, the title I picked is the most descriptive of what this book really is all about. It’s a look behind the scenes of a good life and the process of becoming transparent about who I am. The truth is, though I lived with a secret identity crisis, I have also had a blessed, busy and happy life.

Now that I have this attempt at a book completed, dedicating it to just one person is impossible for me to do. First of all, I have been blessed with amazing parents and siblings. But I am most grateful for and to the woman I married, to have been known as her husband and the father of her children. And I am most fortunate, because as well as having these people in my life, I have also been surrounded by an amazing collection of friends. I can honestly say on these facts alone that I have had a very good life. To all of you, my family and my friends, thank you for allowing me to have journeyed with you in the past, and for the amazing gift of allowing me to continue with you now.

Finally, I must acknowledge one person above all others, Jesus the Christ. I acknowledge Him because He is the thread running through the tapestry of my life in such an intricate way, it has kept the weave together and prevented it from unraveling.

If you want it put in a less religious way, okay: I have been kept from going nuts, harming myself (or worse) by a Higher Power.

Distraction from one’s problems is a good thing, and this adventure—my life—has had an ample supply of distractions. But there has always been this very private and confusing tension behind the scenes that took me more than forty years to understand and another fifteen years to reconcile.

One last comment: These accounts deal with some sensitive issues that on today’s television shows are usually preceded with the warning “adult content, viewer discretion is advised.” If you are uncomfortable with the “adult” words for body parts and swear words, then be warned: I use them. I mean no offense or disrespect.